The Lawyers Weekly - February 3, 2012

THE LAWYERS WEEKLY
February 3, 2012 | 23

BUSINESS
CAREERS

Etiquette
Continued From Page 21

Those videos are sure to garner a few chuckles, but they are riffing on reality. Most of us have had experience with a co-worker who displayed “inappropriate behaviour,” Ohnjec said.

Aside from the traditional etiquette disasters, the ubiquitous smartphone, use of social media and instant communication provide an array of new opportunities for blundering, whether it be hitting “reply all” on that snarky email you intended for just one person, or being the one with The Final Countdown ringtone that goes off during team meetings.

Some firms try to address etiquette issues
through policies. For example, at Missis-
sauga, Ont.-based firm Pallet Valo LLP , a
code of conduct policy acts as a guide about
“how to stay professional while working
within a friendly, collegial, warm environ-
ment,” said Frances Wales, the firm’s chief
operating officer. “People need boundaries.
That’s what I see our policies as. If you don’t
put boundaries, how will people know when
they cross the line?”
There are policies for the use of social
media associated with the firm, policies to
help ensure clients waiting for a meeting
don’t end up hearing about one of the part-
ner’s weekend plans, policies that aim to
deter gossiping—even a policy on when it’s
OK to interrupt someone who is in their
office (hint: If the door’s just ajar, only inter-
rupt if it’s urgent).

“Good etiquette is about…saying please and thank you and about trying to be helpful and working together,” Wales said.

Sometimes, though, no policy can prevent someone from blundering, particularly in social situations, Wright says. The Etiquette Advantage’s most popular workshops focused on first impressions and small talk.

“Lawyers tend to be introverts,” she says.
“When they do studies, they are kind of aca-
demics. It’s not always the easiest thing to
meet people.”
For social events, Wright coaches falling
back on rituals to help calm yourself down,
such as smiling, making eye contact, shaking

 ;Email. Just received your 90th email of the day and wondering which to reply to first? Or maybe you’re eyeing the delete tab? Sorry, you probably have to read them first and make a judgment call.

;PDAs. Time is money and clients expect that if you have a Blackberry, you will get back to them with haste, right? But Wright says lawyers must decide whether checking that data is worth harming your relationship with the people you’re with.

Don Johnston, a partner at Aird & Berlis LLP, knows the feeling.

“You are sitting in a meeting and
everybody seems to be looking at their
knees— just under the surface of the table
everybody has got their Blackberry going,”
Johnston says. “You feel you are not getting
the attention you deserve if you are
addressing the group.”
“If you possibly can, don’t even bring
it into the meeting,” Wright advises.
“Turn it off.

“If you are expecting something coming in and you know it is very, very urgent, tell the people running the meeting, ‘Excuse me if I may need to step out for a minute.’ But do that —step out for a minute.”

hands and asking the person questions
about themselves—“What’s it like being a
criminal lawyer today?”
If you forget a person’s name, which
Wright says often happens “right off the
bat,” try asking for it again rather than let-
ting any awkwardness linger. Drop your
name into the conversation a little later on
too—“And my husband said, ‘You’re an
amazing navigator, Stacy.’”
“People will love you if you spare them
from embarrassment,” Wright says.

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;Social media. If you’re using Facebook at work, you need to ask yourself what behaviour is acceptable in the social media world.

“Imagine the content of your Facebook page on a billboard,” Wright says. “If you are worried that the content will compromise your credibility, get rid of it.”

;Personal contact. With email and Blackberry messenger, every social introvert can hold down a conversation, conceivably without ever actually speaking to someone. But, Wright warns, face or voice contact is still important if you want to have good business relationships.

“There are two levels of message,” she says. “One that is straight information, and one that has some emotional content. A voice message can deal with both levels, but an email or text may not.

“If you are generally communicating bare facts in an email, think again,” she adds. “You will have difficulty building a business relationship without face to face or at least voice contact. “

then you ‘hear’ a conversation. Be aware of whether this is a ‘conversation’ or a business letter. Err on the side of formality.”

;Greetings and salutations. Lawyers are busy people. So, you might ask, why waste time with ‘hello’, ‘how are you’ and ‘thank you’ in a business email?

“Without salutations, the email ‘sounds’ abrupt,” Wright says. “Only do this when there is a steady string of communication—

;Forwarding messages. MUST READ! This will change your life! Well, probably not.

That ‘interesting’ article on ‘Five new ways to cook an egg,’ while a fantastic read, probably will annoy some of your colleagues if you forward it to the masses. Wright also advises against hitting ‘reply all’ to say something you think is clever. In both these scenarios you should only be sending jokes or notes to “very good, trustworthy friends” and only if the material will “never be passed on.”

To people who wonder, with all these rituals, “What about my individuality?” Wright says save your eccentricities for later.

“They have to like you and they have to
trust you,” she says. “For a new job, you go to
the interview and you become a good repre-
sentative for the company but once you have
been working at a place a little while you know
the people you can goof around with and even
the clients. You just can’t do it right away.”
But Wright urges forgiveness when
people do get nervous and make mistakes.

She notes that walking up to a stranger and starting a conversation is second on the list of social fears, after public speaking. That might help explain why that summer student with her fingers, still sticky from handling an appetizer, panicked when the lawyer who hired her approached.

“I said, well maybe next time, just say ‘Sorry for not shaking your hand’ and explain the situation,” Wright says. “A wet handshake is always a bad idea.” n

COMPUTER BY DMITRIY RUMYANTSEV / DREAMSTIME. COM, WOMAN BY CHIHHANG / ISTOCKPHOTO.COM

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The Toronto Police Service invites applications for the position of Lead Counsel, Legal Services. The Toronto Police Service is a world class organization that is recognized as a leader in policing.

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